It appears Friday night dinners are back, but things are still tense with everyone. Emily asks Lorelai when she’s getting married and Lorelai tells her June 3. Emily insists Lorelai brings Luke to dinner next week. Emily and Richard scare the hell out of them when they start talking about insurance gaps and consolidating assets. They convince Luke and Lorelai that con artists are out to get them all.

The newspaper staff has completed the process of kicking Paris out, but she hasn’t come out of her bunker to hear the news. Rory goes in and tells her the board voted her out. Paris takes it okay until she finds out Rory has been voted in as her replacement. She throws all Rory’s stuff out into the hallway and changes the locks. She calls Logan to tell him what happened and he says she should move in with him.

Luke has been fixing a few things around the Dragonfly. Michel tells Lorelai he’s upset because they have a weekly tradition of getting together for coffee and making a list of things that need to be done. Lorelai feels bad so they go to Weston’s and make a list of a hundred things for Luke to do.

Lorelai thinks it’s strange that Christopher hasn’t called lately, so she suggests Rory invite him to Yale for lunch. She shows him around campus and then he wants to see her place. She’s a little nervous to tell him she’s moved in with her boyfriend that afternoon, but Christopher and Logan get along really well. They were both kicked out of the same prep school, so it’s a real bonding moment. They all go out to dinner, and Christopher leaves the table to call Lorelai and tell her Rory and Logan are living together. Then he feels like a fink. Rory herself calls and tells her the news, and Lorelai is a little weirded out by the idea.

Luke: I’m not much of a gentleman.

Michel: Not if you insist on dressing like a Peanuts character.

Lorelai wakes up really early and starts to leave the house all sneaky and wakes up Luke. She’s supposed to meet Sookie at the flower mart to look for wedding flowers and she didn’t want to tell Luke. Lorelai tells Sookie the wedding is postponed and she immediately thinks it’s Lorelai’s fault. Lorelai explains about April. Lorelai decides not to cancel everything right away in the hopes that Luke will come around.

Richard calls Lorelai to tell her a check to Yale has been returned. Lorelai calls Rory to tell her she should let them know Christopher is paying for Yale. Rory doesn’t seem to care about it, so Lorelai calls her parents to tell them there was no mistake. Emily slams down the phone, but Richard hangs on. Lorelai assures him this is not a snub and they shouldn’t be offended. She tells him she and Rory will come have dinner Friday night.

Rory finally tells Logan he can take her to dinner on Thursday night. She’s looking through the Yale Daily News on Thursday afternoon and finds a blank spot where a photo should be. She goes to the office and finds Paris all in a tizzy and by that night almost the entire staff has quit. Paris is hiding in her bunker, and Rory goes in to tell her what’s happening. Paris doesn’t want to hear it so she puts on her noise reduction headphones and keeps working. Rory leaves the bunker and takes over. Logan shows up at the paper and Rory apologizes for forgetting their date. He helps out tremendously and the paper ends up going out on time. Then Paris comes out of her hole and congratulates everyone.

Lorelai gets a message from Luke telling her April’s going to be at the diner until eight so he’ll see Lorelai after eight. Lorelai’s a little annoyed. She goes to the soda shoppe and has to deal with everyone looking through the window at April. Later that night, all Luke can talk about is how smart April is. He thanks Lorelai for understanding that he and April need time alone to get to know each other.

When the Girls get to dinner on Friday night, Richard is reading a book and Emily is painting a moonscape on the patio. A big fight starts when Rory tries to explain about Christopher paying for Yale. Lorelai stops everyone from leaving the room and says they need to work things out. This is my favorite sequence in the whole series, a big montage of fighting during dinner, dessert and drinks.

Lorelai: The wedding has been postponed.

Sookie: What did you do?

Church bells start ringing at three-twelve in the morning and wake up everyone in Stars Hollow. Kirk’s outside yelling that there’s a town meeting, so everyone goes to Miss Patty’s. Taylor is at his sister’s house, so he’s broadcasting from Maine. He’s snowed in so he’s unable to get back to town in time for the winter carnival. Patty asks Kirk to take over, he says yes and everyone leaves and goes back to bed. A few days later, Lorelai runs into Taylor. He’s walking around wearing a hat and sunglasses because he wants to spy and see how Kirk is doing without him.

Paris is turning into quite the dictator at the newspaper and everyone is getting fed up. Rory runs into everyone at a coffee house or something, and they tell her they want to force Paris out. Rory tells Paris the staff is talking about kicking her off the paper, so Paris yells at the staff and tells them to suck it up. Now everyone is mad at Rory.

Luke and April meet at a park. He asks her what she likes to do and she says she’d really like to come hang out at the diner the next day. Luke calls Anna and says tomorrow isn’t really good, and of course Anna gets all, “You wanted to be involved and it doesn’t work like that.” She says if he doesn’t want to see her at the diner he can just not see her ever. She’s really bitchy and I hate her. Luke calls Lorelai and is relieved when she says she’s going to be too busy to come to the diner that day. However, Lorelai gets a minute and goes to the diner and meets April. She and Luke outside to talk. When Lorelai finds out Luke has known for two months, she says she needs to go away and digest the news.

Logan is annoying Rory by leaving flowers and gifts at the apartment. She’s on her way to class, and a guy with a coffee cart says he was hired to follow her around all day with his coffee. As a last resort, Logan goes to the Dragonfly to talk to Lorelai. Lorelai writes a note to Rory and Logan gives it to her. I have no idea what the letter says, but after reading it, Rory agrees to have dinner with Logan.

Zack sees Lane and some Korean guy together at the carnival and gets jealous until he finds out the guy is Lane’s uncle. Mrs. Kim tells Zack she won’t get in his way if he wants to go after Lane. Taylor is still walking around in his disguise but everyone knows it’s him. Lorelai has dressed up Paul Anka for her Doggy Swami booth. Luke comes by to talk to Lorelai and apologize again. He says he’s kind of freaking out lately. Lorelai half-heartedly offers to postpone the wedding and Luke says that would be great.

Taylor: I should go.

Lorelai: Back to 8 Mile?

Zack, to Lane’s uncle: Welcome to the SH, bitch.

The stove at the Dragonfly catches fire, and the wall behind it takes some damage. Lorelai has to call Richard because he set up the insurance policy, and then Richard has to come to the inn. Lorelai starts interrogating him, asking if Rory is back at Yale and if the Huntzbergers have humiliated her any more. Richard gets mad and leaves.

Luke and Lorelai have dinner at Jackson and Sookie’s house, and Lorelai notices Luke sitting calmly and patiently eating his dinner while everyone else yells and runs around and stuff. She feels bad and thinks they always do things she wants to do. When he says he wants to go to Miss Patty’s dance recital with her, Lorelai insists he go camping that night instead. Luke goes, but he’s totally bored because he really didn’t feel like camping.

The DAR ladies have failed to sell all the tables at some charity event, so they think they’ll become laughingstocks.  They talk about cancelling, but Rory jumps in and saves the day. She has a lot of suggestions, so the ladies ask her to take over the planning. They set her up with everything she needs, including an assistant named Lacey. Emily starts getting freaked out when Rory starts changing things, but realizes when Rory says they’re sold out. Paris comes over freaking out because her parents have been evading taxes or something and now she’s broke until her trust fund kicks in when she’s twenty-five. Rory tells her she’s going to have to get a job. Paris panics because she’s never had to work, so Rory says she can be a server at the DAR thing.

The event is a hit, but then Mrs. Huntzberger comes in. She didn’t RSVP, but she insists on getting a table. Rory seats her at the crappy table set aside for non-RSVPers but Emily tells her Shira can’t sit there because it’s an insult. Rory thinks it’s just Shira there, but then she sees Mitchum and goes to the kitchen and has a panic attack. Richard and Mitchum run into each other in the restroom, and Richard asks him what happened with Rory at the paper. Mitchum says he feels bad about firing Rory, but she just didn’t have what it takes. He says he also feels bad about the way Rory was treated at dinner at his house. Richard goes out and finds Emily and says everything Lorelai told them about the Huntzbergers was true. Richard wants to punch Mitchum, but Emily sends him outside. Then she goes and sits down next to Shira. She sweetly moves Shira to her new table, and says she heard what happened at the dinner. Shira starts talking about the Huntzbergers’ image, but Emily says she knows Shira was a “two-bit gold-digger fresh off the bus from Hicksville” when Mitchum found her. When Rory gets up and starts thanking people and accepting applause, Richard realizes she’s really not where she should be.

At the dance recital, Kirk puts on a super creepy performance, during which Lorelai notices Luke coming back from his camping trip. She goes to the diner to ask him what’s going on, and he says he was bored. He tells her he doesn’t understand why she was trying to get rid of him. She apologizes and he tells her he enjoys spending time with her no matter what they’re doing. Luke feels better about things and decides to go back to the woods.

Sookie: What is pubic speaking?

Lorelai: I’m hoping it’s a misprint.

Paris: I hate the rich. A hard rain is gonna fall, know what I’m saying?

Sookie, about the kids dancing in the audience: This is so stressful.

Lorelai provides breakfast for all the construction guys, which annoys Luke. Lorelai is letting TJ think he’s the contractor, and Tom goes around behind him telling everyone not to listen to him. Luke wants to tell him the truth but Lorelai insists. TJ finally figures it out after talking to a contractor friend of his. He gets mad and quits.

Rory is doing well on her community service and she’s pretty much taken over as supervisor. She’s also kicking ass at the DAR. Logan comes back from a trip to Europe and takes Rory out to dinner. He seems bored with her stories about the world of community service, but assures her he’s not. Rory meets Logan at Yale the next morning and kind of smiles when she sees the new freshmen on their tour. Then she goes to her DAR induction thing and looks all depressed.

Sookie asks Lorelai when she and Luke are going to get married and she’s upset that they haven’t set a date yet. Lorelai tells Luke she doesn’t want to set a wedding date until things are right with Rory. How she plans to make things right when she won’t even talk to her is beyond me.

Paris is driving Lorelai crazy. She’s coming to the Dragonfly twice a week to chat, and Sookie and Michel hate her. They convince Lorelai to cut Paris off. Paris calls Rory, acting like Rory is still going to move into the off campus apartment she and Doyle are renting. The next time she goes to lunch at the Dragonfly, she mentions calling Rory at her office. Lorelai freaks out about Rory having an office, and Paris gets it into her head that Lorelai only wants to have lunch with her to get information about Rory. Lorelai assures her that’s not true and insists she loves their lunches.

Hep Alien has been on their Seventh Day Adventist tour and they’re now heading home. They’ve been starving themselves the whole time due to lack of funds. They’re all exhausted. On the ride home, Lane tells them she’s been saving money this whole time and they’ve come out of the tour with nine thousand dollars. The guys are pissed that they’ve been starving for two months, but they’re excited about the prospect of recording.

A group is coming into the Dragonfly in the middle of the night, so Lorelai asks Luke to watch Paul Anka while she’s at the inn. The dog gets into the trash and eats some chocolate, and Luke freaks out and takes him to the vet’s house.

Gil: If that pretentious little snot from Coldplay can walk around comparing himself to Bono, we can compare ourselves to the Foo Fighters.

Luke’s sister, Liz, comes to town for her twenty year high school reunion. She tells Luke that she has a new boyfriend who’s great. Luke is wary because her boyfriends usually screw her over somehow. Liz says she’s really gotten her life together these days. She makes jewelry and sells it at renaissance fairs.

Jamie is in town and Paris is acting like she doesn’t have time for him. He comes to Rory and asks her what’s going on, so Rory tells Paris she needs to do something about her boyfriend situation because it’s not fair to string Jamie along while she’s sleeping with Asher. Paris calls Jamie and breaks up with him.

Jason comes to Stars Hollow for the day and the first thing he does is throw some road rage at Luke. Jason wants to get coffee at Luke’s because Lorelai goes there all the time and he wants to see it. Lorelai is reluctant, but agrees anyway. When they get to the diner, Jason recognizes Luke’s truck and doesn’t want to go in because he was tailgating him earlier.

Jason and Lorelai have a discussion and Lorelai agrees to tell her mother about their relationship, but as soon as she gets to Friday night dinner Emily starts talking about how much she hates Jason. She says Jason and Lorelai would be perfect together and then starts laughing hysterically at the absurdity of the idea of such a match. Lorelai decides now isn’t the best time to tell her.

Luke tells Liz he stole Jess’ car. He later goes to the garage where he’s been storing it, but the car is gone. Luke reports it stolen and the cops find it broken down on the highway with Jess inside it. The cops bring both Jess and the car to Luke. Jess is pissed that Luke stole his car. He’s going to be staying in town while the car gets fixed, but Luke says he can’t stay with him so he sleeps in his backseat. Rory and Lorelai see the car on their way home. Rory is weirded out and goes home, and Lorelai goes into the diner to tell Luke that it’s way too cold for Jess to be sleeping outside. Luke tells Jess he’s going to spend the night at Nicole’s so Jess can go sleep in the apartment.

Lorelai: Luke is the most complicated guy I know who also owns a Doobie Brothers record.

Other notes:

• Rory comes home and notices that the kitchen is full of real food instead of takeout and the movie channels are gone. She’s worried Lorelai is having money problems and she’s skimping.
• Lane is staying in Rory’s dorm. She’s cleaning up and getting coffee for everyone.

Lorelai goes to visit Rory at the dorm and as soon as she walks into the suite she knows Emily has been there. She makes fun of Rory for a minute for subscribing to the Stars Hollow Gazette, and then for planning to go ridiculously early to her first class. Rory says she’s not going to be that early, but she and some guy (Marty, though we haven’t met him yet) are the first ones there. When Rory gets back to the dorm, she finds a bunch of new furniture in the common room. Emily calls looking for a thank you. Rory’s a little upset because she doesn’t want her suitemates to resent her. She wants to tell Emily she’s gone too far, but Lorelai says things will be easier if she just keeps the furniture.

Sookie wants to start a catering company with Lorelai until the Dragonfly can open, and she’s already agreed to do some kid’s birthday party. Sookie is apparently mentally challenged and/or has never met a child before, and she prepares ridiculous food and doesn’t understand why the table is set with a tablecloth with Lord of the Rings characters on it. Lorelai freaks out when she realizes Sookie didn’t make any food that the kids are going eat and the cake is some kind of tropical monstrosity. She takes over and Sookie gets pissed. Sookie realizes she’s not really cut out for children and starts freaking out about her pregnancy. Lorelai calms her down.

There’s a big party coming up in Rory’s dorm, and people who want to participate are supposed to leave their suites’ doors open. Paris really wants to open their door, but Rory is reluctant. Paris calls Lorelai and tells her Rory’s having trouble adjusting to college. Rory takes the phone away from her and explains what’s going on, and Lorelai convinces her to participate.

Rory tells Tana she can borrow something to wear for the party, and Tana chooses Rory’s Chilton uniform. Madeline and Louise show up and say hello. A set of twins whose mother is a friend of Emily’s come by and annoy Rory. Paris is determined to start over at Yale because nobody knows her there, but she doesn’t have any fun at the party and it’s not long before she kicks everyone out. Later that night, Rory goes into the hallway and finds Marty passed out naked on the floor. She gives him her robe and sends him to his room.

Jason “Digger” Stiles, the son of Richard’s former employer, wants to go into business with Richard. Richard is wary, but Jason says he’s absolutely serious and he wants to piss off his father. At the next Friday night dinner, Rory meets Lorelai outside and says she’s going to yell at Emily about the dorm furniture, but she chickens out. Richard comes out and announces that he’s going into business with Digger. Emily thinks it’s great until she finds out one of the reasons for Jason’s proposition is revenge on his father.

Rory: Tana still doesn’t know she’s at Yale.

Rory: I’m rooming with a Stephen King novel.

Rory tells Richard and Emily that she’s going to Yale. They don’t react at first, but after Lorelai assures them that she’s totally fine with it, they jump up from the dinner table to call all their friends. Jess tells Rory that Yale is only 22.8 miles from Stars Hollow, and she’s really touched that he took the time to look it up.

Tobin the night manager comes to a meeting at the inn to talk about what they’re going to do with the place. Michel hates him. Tobin gives Lorelai a present because he knows her birthday is coming up. It’s just a candle, but Lorelai loves it. A few days later, Michel comes to the inn with his own present for Lorelai. Michel is feeling pretty good about himself until Tobin gives Lorelai her real present, some dead guy’s jacket (Joe Strummer from The Clash).

Luke watches Jess go to school one morning. As soon as he gets near the door, he cuts around the side of the school, gets in his car and drives away. Luke tries to talk to Jess that night, but Jess insists he has everything under control. Luke has lunch with Nicole and her parents the next day, and he loses it when they ask him if he might ever want children. The next morning, Jess leaves to go to school and freaks out because his car is gone. Luke tells him to just go to school and he’ll take care of finding the car. When Jess is gone, Luke smiles smugly.

Paris calls Rory and asks if there’s any more homework for her to do. She wants to keep her mind off things, but Rory says she’s done all the work she’s missed. Rory tells her to go out and do something, and Paris shows up at school the next day with her nose bandaged. She got it pierced after getting off the phone with Rory, and she was apparently allergic to the metal and her nose swelled up and she had to go to the emergency room.

Richard’s secretary calls Lorelai to arrange a lunch. At lunch, Richard tells Lorelai that on the day she was born, he went out and made a real estate investment in her name. That property has been sold and all the investors get a check. Richard gives Lorelai a check for $75,000. At Friday night dinner, Lorelai gives the money to Emily to repay her and Richard for Chilton. Emily is angry because she thinks it means Lorelai and Rory won’t be coming over anymore. Lorelai mentions that Richard gave her the money, and he gets upset because he didn’t want Emily to know about it. Everyone starts yelling at each other and the Girls leave. When they get back to Stars Hollow, Rory kind of yells at Lorelai for giving Emily the money that way. Lorelai is pissed. She borrowed money and she paid it back. Rory understands and apologizes. The Girls go to Lorelai’s birthday party.

Emily: I saw an open can of cream of mushroom soup. Nothing good can come of that.

Also in this episode: For Lorelai’s birthday, Rory gets the pizza parlor to make a huge pizza.

Other notes: I hate Bruce McCulloch (Tobin).

Rory has been accepted to Harvard, Yale and Princeton. While she and Lorelai make some pro/con lists to help them decide which one is the right choice, everyone else tells them not to bother because of course it’s going to be Harvard. Luke is very proud of Rory and gives her an awkward head-hug.

Jess has been named Employee of the Month at Wal-Mart. Luke goes to see him get his plaque even though he knows Jess wouldn’t want him to. Jess’ boss tells Luke how happy he is to have someone like Jess who will work extra hours on top of his regular forty a week. Luke is confused because he knows there’s no way Jess is working forty hours on top of going to school and working at the diner. He tells Lorelai he thinks Jess is skipping school.

The Edgar Allen Poe Society is staying at the inn and they put on a show at Miss Patty’s. During a never-ending reading of The Raven, Nicole and Lindsay give Lorelai and Rory the stinkeye. That night, Lorelai gets a call from Tobin, the night manager. There’s been a fire at the inn.

Everyone gets to the inn and starts trying to make arrangements for the guests to stay in nearby hotels. Sookie takes her kitchen staff to Luke’s the next morning so she can make breakfast for the remaining guests. Luke is pretty crabby about it until he finds out about the fire. By lunchtime, he and Sookie are working together. Rory entertains the guests’ kids with sock puppets until it’s time to go to school.

Paris has been at home watching soap operas since the disastrous speech at Chilton. Rory goes to her house after school and tells her to get out of the house and try to decide which of the many other schools that accepted her will be lucky enough to get her.

Stars Hollow folks are taking in guests from the inn. Lorelai has a few too many show up at her house. Rory goes to spend the night at Lane’s, but Lorelai has nowhere to go. She takes her pillow and blanket and hits the streets. She calls Rory, who tells her to go to Luke’s. Luke lets her in and makes the bed for her. Lorelai tells Luke about the dream she had where they were married. Nicole calls and Luke doesn’t tell her Lorelai is there. He tells Lorelai she’s been kind of a sore spot with Nicole since their first date. Luke couldn’t think of anything to talk about and may have mentioned Lorelai a little too often.

Lane is on the phone with Young Chui. Rory thinks they’re having kind of a weird conversation for a fake couple and she tells Lane it sounds like Young Chui actually likes her. Lane kind of panics. Jess knocks on the window and Rory talks to him for a minute. Lorelai asked her earlier if Jess has been going to school, so Rory asks Jess. He says he’s going “enough.”

Lorelai has realized that Rory’s pro/con lists clearly show that Yale is the best choice. When Rory gets home from Lane’s the next morning, she finds Lorelai has taken down all the Harvard stuff from her bedroom wall and replaced it with Yale stuff. Meanwhile, Lorelai, Sookie and Michel are at the inn. It’s pretty much ruined.

Michel: I’m looking for my cyanide capsule. Have you seen it?

Luke has new menus. Nicole said there wasn’t very much for her to eat, so he added some salads and got rid of some sandwiches nobody ever ordered. Lorelai, Rory and Lane give him trouble about it.

There’s a speech writing contest at Chilton and the winner will get to read his or her speech on C-SPAN. Rory doesn’t really feel like entering, but after Paris baits her a little, she decides she wants to crush her. Nerdy Brad is back. He’s been in a Broadway production of “Into the Woods” and now he’s returned with even more self-confidence than before. Paris still manages to scare him. Headmaster Charleston can’t decide if he likes Paris’ or Rory’s speech better, so he tells them it’s a tie and makes them merge their speeches together.

Sookie is making terrible food at the inn and getting complaints from guests. She thinks everyone is just crazy, but Lorelai tastes the food and says it really is bad. Sookie and Lorelai realize she must be pregnant. When Sookie tells Jackson, he immediately gets out the calculator and starts freaking out about preparing for the baby.

Rory and Paris decide to work on their speech over the phone, but then Paris shows up at Rory’s house. They work on their speech for about two minutes, and then suddenly Paris says she and Jamie had sex. She apologizes for letting Francie mess things up and then asks what Rory thinks about the sex thing. Lorelai comes home and overhears the conversation. When she hears Rory say she’s never had sex, she gets a really sickening smile on her face and actually says to herself, “I’ve got the good kid.” Fuck off, Lorelai.

Lorelai runs into Max at a drugstore in Hartford. He’s been teaching in California, but he’s back now. He and Lorelai actually have a nice conversation. She sees him at Chilton later when she goes to watch Rory’s speech. She tries to apologize for the way she treated him before, but Max says he’s fine, he’s over it. Then they kiss later in the coatroom. That kind of came out of nowhere.

Paris is late getting to Chilton for the speech, and when she finally does show up, her hair is a mess and she seems to be wearing pajamas. She walks like a zombie up to the podium when it’s time to go on, and doesn’t say anything while Rory does both parts of the speech for a minute. Then she suddenly starts ranting about Chilton and how she thought it was going to be so good for her. She pulls a small envelope out of her pocket and says it’s her rejection from Harvard. She goes crazy, talking about how she had sex so now she’s not allowed to go to Harvard. Rory starts to pull her off the stage and Paris tells the audience that Rory’s a virgin so Harvard probably loves her. Rory gets Paris to a quiet place and lets her cry on her shoulder.

When Lorelai and Rory get home, they find acceptances from Harvard, Yale and Princeton.

Paris: Why’d you use this font?

Rory: Because I was on the crack.

Paris: Pack your chastity belt, Gilmore. You’re going to Harvard.

Other notes:

• The promos for this episode were the most ridiculous display of misdirection I’ve ever seen. They showed Lorelai listening outside Rory’s door when she and Paris were talking about sex. The voice over said, “A mother will be crushed,” and the dialog was edited to have Rory say, “It was just time.”
• The actor who played Brad, Adam Wylie, actually debuted on Broadway in a production of “Into the Woods” in May 2002.