Zack asks Luke if he’s going to Lane’s baby shower and is disappointed when Luke says he doesn’t think so. Mrs. Kim doesn’t plan on going either. Lorelai asks Lane what happened between her and her mom, and Lane says they had a fight because Lane said her kids were never going to go to church. Lorelai offers to tell Mrs. Kim that Lane would let them go to church if they really wanted to. Mrs. Kim tries to renegotiate and get Lane to agree to silly things like no sandboxes and Christmases with no presents, but Lorelai tells her to be reasonable and just go to the shower.

Rory gets a call from a guy at the New York Times who wants to meet her for coffee the next day. She goes to Logan’s apartment to spend the night, and he comes home drunk and crabby at three in the morning. He’s still a crab the next day, and now Rory is, too. Her meeting goes well, but Rory is pissed when she gets back and Logan isn’t ready to go to the shower. He finally tells her what happened with his company and says he doesn’t want to go to the shower. He’s going to go to Vegas with Colin and Finn instead. Rory does not approve.

Luke sees an ad in the paper and finds out Liz and TJ are selling his boat because they need the space in their garage. He says he doesn’t want to sell and he’ll find another place to put it. Liz tells him to just get rid of it before he ends up like their father, stuck in Stars Hollow and unable to change his life. Luke is unmoved, but then he goes home and calls April and says they should go to Disney World when she visits him for the summer. April says she’s fine just hanging out at the diner like they always do, and that prompts Luke to sell the boat to Kirk for six hundred dollars. Lorelai finds out and asks Luke about it. He says he was never going to finish the boat, so he sold it and went and bought a brand new one to keep at the marina.

Lorelai and Mrs. Kim go to Lane’s to talk to her about the shower, and Lane starts having some stomach pains. They go to the hospital and find out Lane has to be on bed rest. She’s upset she’s not going to get her shower, so Lorelai moves the party to Miss Patty’s and rolls Lane’s bed there. The party is a roaring success, and Lane asks Rory to be her “Lorelai Gilmore,” the person her kids can go to when Lane gets unreasonable with them.

Lorelai: How’s business?

Mrs. Kim: People die, go bankrupt, there’s always furniture to sell.

Lorelai, Chris and GG head off to Paris. After dropping GG with Sherry, Chris and Lorelai go to the hotel and promptly fall asleep. They don’t wake up until four in the morning. They try to get a couple more hours of sleep, but they’re starving. They hit the streets in search of late night snacks, but everything is closed. They go back to the hotel and have sex for a while, and then Chris says he’s going to fix things.

Rory is stepping down as editor-in-chief of the Yale Daily News. I don’t know why, it’s some kind of rule. The other staffers give her a really nice goodbye, complete with presents and everything. Paris is a little upset and tells Rory how lonely and sad she’ll be without her editorship. Rory sits around that night all by herself and then finally calls Lucy and Olivia. They say they want to get out of town for a while, so Rory says they should go to Stars Hollow and hang out at her house.

Lane and Zack are having twins. Zack says it’s time to tell Mrs. Kim about the pregnancy. They go have dinner and Lane blurts out the news. Mrs. Kim congratulates them and says they should move in with her on Monday. Zack says, “Cool.” They fret about how they’re going to deal with this, but then they realize they’re grownups and can decide for themselves where they’re going to live. They tell Mrs. Kim they don’t want to move in with her, so she says she’ll move in with them.

Rory and her friends dye their hair and make Rice Krispies treats. Then she suddenly starts crying. She’s got some graduation anxiety because she doesn’t know what exactly she’s going to be doing after college. Lucy and Olivia tell her they feel the same way. When they all get back to Yale, Lucy introduces her to her boyfriend, who turns out to be Marty. She starts to say hello to him, but he introduces himself as though she’s a stranger. Rory doesn’t know what to make of it.

Chris takes Lorelai to a really fancy restaurant that opens just for them. Lorelai is really impressed and touched that Chris went to so much trouble for her. They finish eating as the sun comes up, and then Chris asks Lorelai to marry him right there in Paris. She wants to wait until they get home, but Chris convinces her they should go ahead and do it. So they do. Ugh.

Mrs. Kim: You want two separate beds, correct?

The Kim house is bustling while wedding preparations are being made. Lorelai brings over the dress, which has been altered tremendously. Mrs. Kim gets a phone call and kind of freaks out. Her mother is coming, leaving Korea for the first time in forty-five years. Mrs. Kim starts hiding all her crucifixes and replacing them with Buddha statues. Mrs. Kim’s mother has no idea that her daughter is a Seventh Day Adventist.

The bachelorette party runs into the bachelor party. The bars are all closed and there’s nothing to do, so everyone ends up hanging out in Brian’s aunt’s basement.

When Lorelai tells her Luke is out of town and won’t be at the wedding, Mrs. Kim freaks out and says she absolutely has to bring a date. She decides to bring Michel, but he cancels because he gets front row tickets to see Celine Dion. Rory, who has apparently forgotten about all the drama that happens every time her father comes around, suggests Lorelai bring Christopher. Lorelai, equally forgetful, thinks it’s a great idea.

Everyone gathers at the Kim house for a weird Buddhist wedding. When Lane’s grandmother sees that Zack is white, she starts yelling in Korean. She gets in her cab and leaves. As soon as she’s gone, the whole congregation runs to the church for the real wedding. There are 58 seats and 62 Koreans, so everyone races to find a seat.

The wedding is a big success. Hep Alien plays. Kirk fires all the bartenders because they’re “too yummy” and he thinks Lulu likes them. Brian makes out with Kyon. Lorelai gets completely trashed and gets up on stage and starts talking about how she’s never going to get married. Christopher and Rory drag her away and take her home. When they get there, Rory gets a phone call. Logan has gotten hurt on his trip and Rory goes to the hospital to see him. Later, Luke calls and wakes Lorelai up. She’s surprised to see Christopher sleeping in a chair in her bedroom.

Lorelai has a crazy dream about the real Paul Anka and the dog Paul Anka and she calls Rory to tell her all about it.

Rory is still freezing out Logan. She takes a piece away from him for the paper and uses his research to write it herself. When she gets home from the paper, Colin and Finn are there. They’re all planning a Life and Death Brigade stunt that involves jumping out of a plane and white water rafting. Rory has to spoil their fun by talking about how dangerous it’s going to be. The other guys leave and Logan says he’s pissed that Rory hasn’t forgiven him yet. He packs his bag and leaves the next day.

Luke leaves for his trip with April’s math class. He has a good time on the bus and talks to a kid named Freddy. April later tells him she has a crush on Freddy and Luke should go sit with the other parents. The trip takes them to Philadelphia, so Luke takes April to the bookstore Jess runs. It’s some kind open house and Rory shows up, too. She and Jess kiss, and then Rory kind of freaks out. She can’t bring herself to cheat on Logan because she’s in love with him. Jess is upset.

Mrs. Kim brings her wedding dress to Lorelai and asks her to alter it for Lane to wear. It’s huge and horrible and there are pants. Lane asks Lorelai to do something drastic to it. Lorelai makes no promises, but when she gets it on the mannequin, she purposely pours coffee all over it so she has an excuse to really change it.

Lorelai sees her parents walking around Stars Hollow looking at houses. She says hello to them and they act very mysterious. She walks around with them and talks about how horrible Stars Hollow is. Emily runs off, and Lorelai and Richard find her later at the diner playing Go Fish with some strange kid. She thinks the kid is April. Lorelai tells her she and Luke have agreed that Lorelai won’t be involved in April’s life. Emily assumes it’s all Lorelai’s fault.

Emily: This isn’t Luke’s daughter? Here I was bonding with it!

The Girls have been to Atlantic City for a belated twenty-first birthday celebration.  They met a drag queen who looked just like Luke. Rory is going back to school and Lorelai is appalled that she has to meet with the school psychologist. Rory moves into Paris’ crappy apartment, which has like six locks on the door because it’s in a really bad neighborhood. Paris and Doyle are learning to defend themselves in case of break-ins. Lorelai hates the place.

Rory is walking around campus when she sees Logan. He seems happy to see her, but she walks away. Then he shows up at the Yale Daily News. He shows up outside her apartment apologizes. He says he thought he wanted to break up but he realized he loves Rory. She goes to her therapist appointment and is all agitated and starts crying about Logan. The doctor says she has to come back weekly for the next two months.

Sookie and Lorelai are starting to plan the wedding. Lorelai acts like she can’t possibly be less interested, but then she sees the most horrible dress I’ve ever seen and says it’s the perfect dress. It’s on sale and in her size, so she tries it on. After the dress fits, suddenly all the other wedding plans fall into place. She goes to the diner and tells him the wedding will be on June 3. He still doesn’t see fit to tell her about April.

Lane has moved back home and is acting crabby at Mrs. Kim. She’s also taken after her mother and is being mean to customers. Zack comes over to talk to Lane, but she kicks him out. Mrs. Kim is sick of Lane’s attitude, so she shades all the windows and goes into the back of a cupboard for her bottle of liquor and two shotglasses. She says Lane has grieved and now it’s time to move on.

Luke goes to April’s house to ask her mother, Anna, why she never told him about April. He says he wants to be involved in April’s life. He goes to Lorelai’s to tell her everything, but Lorelai comes downstairs in her hideous wedding dress. She’s worried that all the wedding planning was too easy and it’s a bad sign, so she wants to show him the dress to make sure it’s okay. He is, of course, distracted by her beauty and fails once again to tell her about April.

Paris: The real gunshots actually sound fake. You’ll pick it up eventually. They call it ghetto ear.

Other notes: The woman who plays Anna (Sherilyn Fenn) also played Sasha, Jess’ father’s girlfriend, in Season Three, Episode 21: Here Comes the Son.

Lorelai picks up Rory from the police station, where she and Logan were taken after being arrested for stealing a boat. Rory tells Lorelai it was her idea, but Lorelai is convinced it was Logan’s. Rory tells Lorelai what Mitchum said about her not having what it takes to be a journalist. Lorelai is angry, but Rory defends him and says the guy knows what he’s talking about. Logan calls the next morning looking for Rory and he tells Lorelai his father is going to take care of things. Lorelai says his dad has done enough. Logan asks Rory what that’s all about, and she tells him what Mitchum told her. She goes to take her final later that day and just sits there staring out the window.

Mike Armstrong sends a gift basket to Lorelai. Luke is worried she’s going to sell the inn. He can’t believe she’s thinking about taking the offer. He goes to Taylor and says he’s changed his mind about buying the Twickham house. While all this is going on, Stars Hollow is hosting an international bike race, and Luke is annoyed because there’s a hole in front of the diner and every biker that rides by shouts, “Big hole!” Luke runs outside with a bat, and they all start shouting, “Big bat!”

Lane realizes the band is getting stale and they haven’t practiced in a long time. She calls a band meting and they all say they’ve just gotten busy with other things. Lane goes to Mrs. Kim and says she’s worried the band is breaking up and she might have to move back home. Mrs. Kim says that’s not an option. Kims do not give up. She sets up a tour for the band with Seventh Day Adventist venues all up and down the east coast.

Lorelai and Rory have lunch together and Rory says she’s not going back to Yale next year. Rory acts like a freaking idiot and is convinced that if Mitchum says she can’t do it, she can’t do it. Lorelai tells her she understands she’s upset about what Mitchum said but Rory needs to stay in school. Rory insists she can’t possibly be a journalist and she’s not going back. Lorelai goes to her parents and tells them everything and asks for their help in ganging up on Rory to convince her to go back. They agree, but then Rory comes crying to Richard and tells him she needs his help. So when Lorelai gets to dinner on Friday, Emily and Richard tell her Rory will live in the pool house while she takes time off from Yale.

Lorelai goes to the diner and tells Luke what’s going on with Rory. He starts yelling and making plans for what he and Lorelai are going to do to fix things. Lorelai is totally awed by how much Luke cares for Rory, and she asks him to marry her.

And then I sat in suspense for months to find out his answer. Damn cliffhanger finales.

One Friday night, Emily comes running out to the pool house hollering about Richard serving appetizers to the Girls so they won’t be hungry when they get to the main house for dinner. Rory’s cell phone rings during dinner and she tells Emily it’s Dean and they’re back together. When they’re leaving, Lorelai actually pinches Rory because, “Why’d you tell my mother about Dean? I was totally covering for you.” Oh, grow up. After hearing the news, Emily goes to Richard and says they need to talk. They call Rory a few days later and tell her to come early for dinner on Friday because they’re throwing an alumni party and they want her to be there.

Dean and Rory haven’t had much luck lately finding time together, so they have lunch in the store room at Doose’s on Dean’s lunch break on Friday. He says he read her story about the Life and Death Brigade. She asks him what he thought and he says it was good but offers no more specific criticism. Rory tells Dean she’ll meet him outside her grandparents’ house at eight-thirty that night.

When Rory gets to the Gilmore house for the party, Emily sends her upstairs where her hairdresser is waiting to do her hair. She has her set up with an updo, a diamond necklace, earrings and a tiara. Rory feels a little silly, but she goes down to the party. All the guests are couples with sons Rory’s age. It takes Rory about two seconds to figure out what’s up. She asks her grandparents if any of their friends have daughters. They pretend not to know what she’s talking about.

Rory tries to have a good time, but she gets stuck with a bunch of guys talking about cars. Then some annoying guy starts flirting with Rory, and Logan comes up and saves her by pretending to be her boyfriend. Logan has met the Gilmores before and they like him quite a bit. He and Finn grab a couple of bottles and move the party out to the pool house. Rory has a good time with Logan and his friends. After a while, Logan says she needs to choose a man from among them. She says she has a boyfriend and then realizes she’s late meeting him. She goes out front to meet him and he sees all the guys following her out. He realizes he doesn’t belong in her world anymore and once again breaks up with her in front of a bunch of people. She starts crying and Logan tells her it’s going to be okay. He and his friends take her back to the pool house to cheer her up.

Liz and TJ are looking for houses in Stars Hollow. TJ comes into the diner a few days later all excited because he’s in escrow. Lorelai goes to Luke’s on Friday night because he’s going to make her a spectacular dinner. TJ comes and interrupts things because he and Liz had a fight. He begs Luke to let him hang out, and then he sits on Jess’ bed and cries. The dinner is further interrupted when Rory calls to tell Lorelai about the party, and even more when Liz comes over to yell at TJ some more. Liz runs into the bathroom and TJ follows.

Lorelai calls her parents later that night and yells at them for their weird mating ritual. Then she looks out the window and sees Rory getting out of a limousine full of guys. Rory looks happy, which makes Lorelai look mad.

Mrs. Kim’s foreign exchange student, Kyon, comes to the diner and tells Lane she’s hungry because Mrs. Kim is feeding her nothing but wheat or something. Lane feels sorry for her and gives her some fries and a soda. Mrs. Kim comes up to Zack in the street and starts yelling at him and telling him he’s going to hell. Kyon saw him hugging Lane at the diner and she told Mrs. Kim and now Mrs. Kim thinks he’s a horrible pig. Lane talks to Kyon and asks why she’d tell on her. Kyon says she had to tell her because Mrs. Kim is magic and would know if she was keeping things from her. Lane has a talk with her and tells her Mrs. Kim is not magic.

Kyon: Mrs. Kim says the fries are the devil’s starchy fingers.

Lorelai sees Jess reading a magazine in the town square and averts her eyes. Then the camera swings around and we see he’s really reading one of Luke’s self help books.

Tana introduces Rory to her boyfriend, Chester. He lost a bet and can only speak in clichés for the whole day. Tana shows Rory a collage she made of all the pictures she’s taken this year. Everyone else in the collage is couples, so Rory feels insecure about the fact that she hasn’t had a boyfriend all year.

Lorelai goes to Mrs. Kim’s to get a door knocker for the inn, and Mrs. Kim gives her some mail to give to Lane. Lorelai says she thinks Mrs. Kim should talk to Lane herself and resigns as her mail carrier. Lane’s Aunt June comes to Lane’s apartment and says Mrs. Kim would like to visit. When Mrs. Kim comes for dinner, Zack and Brian are wearing ties and they try to serve her tea. Mrs. Kim didn’t know Lane was living with boys and it’s a little too much. She runs away and tells Lorelai there were boys at Lane’s house. Lorelai tells her to think of them as girls because they’re harmless.

At Friday night dinner, Lorelai interrogates Emily all night about where Richard is. Emily evades her questions and then she interrogates Rory to make sure she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Rory is packing up her room after her final the next day when Emily comes by to set her up with the son of one of her friends. The guy says a group is going out later to celebrate the end of the year and Rory is welcome to come along.

Lorelai meets Luke at the diner to go to the wedding. He tells her she looks beautiful. Liz’s friend, Crazy Carrie, flirts with Luke at the wedding until Lorelai makes her presence known. Carrie says Liz ripped her dress, so Lorelai goes to Miss Patty’s, where she’s getting ready, to help out. Liz tells Lorelai she’s going to make a great sister-in-law for someone one day. Before she leaves Miss Patty’s, Lorelai notices some self help books in Jess’ bag.

The wedding is really kind of cool, if strange. Everyone is wearing costumes and the second troubadour is the minister. TJ walks up the aisle talking about how much he likes wearing tights. Luke, Lorelai and Jess spend the whole time trying not to laugh. Lorelai tells Luke about the books in Jess’ bag and mocks him a little. Luke gets defensive and tells her Jess is trying to be a better person and she shouldn’t be so judgmental. They both apologize later and then dance together. Luke walks Lorelai home, and before she goes inside he says they should have dinner together next week.

Rory decides to go out with Emily’s friend’s son and she has a terrible time. It’s like eight guys all getting drunk, so she sits at a table by herself. The guys decide to leave, but the guy driving is totally smashed so Rory decides to stay at the bar and take a cab. Then she realizes she doesn’t have any cash so she calls her married ex-boyfriend to come pick her up. She and Dean end up having dinner together.

Jess is very calm and very polite in this episode. He waits around after the wedding until Luke comes home, and then tells him he appreciates everything Luke did for him. Then he leaves and goes to Yale to try to get Rory back. Dean is just walking Rory to her door when Jess show up. Dean gets snippy, but Rory tells him to go. Jess tells Rory he wants her to come to New York and be with him. He tells her she can count on him now. She tells him no, and he leaves, dejected.

Rory: Oh, no. Not Jesus. I’m sick of him and Mel Gibson.

Liz: I don’t want to screw up this marriage even more than I want some pot.

The Girls attend a funeral for some guy named Stan. I think Rory’s trying to look like a beatnik. Stan’s final wish was for the church bells to ring again. They fell into disrepair a long time ago and Stan left the money for them to be fixed. Everyone in town is delighted the first time the bells ring.

Rory and Paris join some kind of club, and Rory doesn’t like it when the guy who rejected her also joins. A couple of the girls talk about him and tell a story about a girl who came up to him out of nowhere and asked him out. Rory is sure the story is about her. She yells at him one day in the dining hall for spreading the story about her asking him out and everyone hears her. He tells her he wasn’t talking about her.

Luke tells Lorelai he and Nicole got an apartment in Litchfield three weeks ago. Lorelai is upset that he didn’t tell her. She feels like they’re not really friends if Luke can’t even tell her where he lives. Lorelai looks out her window later that day and finds Luke shoveling her walkway. She goes out to thank him and he yells at her for getting into his business.

It doesn’t take long for everyone to get sick of the bells, and Lorelai goes to Luke and asks if he wants to help her break them. She goes upstairs with him while he gets his tools, and she notices dishes and stuff that makes it obvious he’s still living there. They get to the church and it’s clear Luke knows what he’s doing. Turns out he’s the one who broke the bells before. Lorelai asks Luke why he pretended he moved. He says he did move, but sometimes it just makes sense to spend the night at his apartment. She of course has a whole lot to say about it and he gets pissed again because it’s none of her damn business. He asks why she cares so much and she finally says she doesn’t want him to move. Just then Reverend Skinner walks in. He sees Luke’s implements of destruction and says, “Oh, thank God. Carry on.”

Gil gets the band a gig at CBGB. Unfortunately, it’s at one o’clock on a Tuesday morning and the only people in the audience are Brian’s parents. The gig gets canceled. Lane shows up at Rory’s at four in the morning and says she didn’t tell her mom anything, she just left the house and now she’s afraid to go home. Rory calls Lorelai and Lorelai calls Mrs. Kim, who has what looks like a prayer vigil and firemen at the house. On her way to Yale to pick her up, Mrs. Kim stops to tell Luke that Lane won’t be in to work that day. He says he knows because Lane already called him. She’s sad that Lane called everyone except her. She turns around and goes home.

When Lane gets home, Mrs. Kim is in her room. She’s found all Lane’s secret stuff. Lane tells her she doesn’t want to keep secrets anymore. She’d be happy to go to a community college and live at home and obey a curfew, but she doesn’t want to hide who she is and she doesn’t want to go to her Seventh Day Adventist college anymore. Mrs. Kim says Lane is welcome to move out and live however she wants. Lane shows up at Rory’s with a suitcase.

Luke: I don’t remember anyone pronouncing us husband and wife and Lorelai.

Emily is crabby when she tells the Girls about the Atlantic City trip. Jason gets Richard set up with a wireless internet network, and Richard walks around the house with his laptop, totally amazed that he’s on the internet everywhere he goes. Jason is still trying to get Lorelai to go to dinner with him.

Rory is trying for a spot with the Yale Daily News. A review she writes of a chamber music recital doesn’t get printed and she freaks out. Doyle, the editor, tells her it’s because she’s trying too hard to be nice and what she really thinks is coming through. So she goes to a ballet recital and writes a scathing review. It gets published, but the ballerina hates her and writes “DIE JERK” on Rory’s suite’s door. She screams at Rory in front of everyone in the dining hall. Lorelai thinks it was too harsh, but Emily and Richard love it.

Lorelai and Michel go to Sookie’s to have a meeting about the Dragonfly, but Michel isn’t allowed to come inside because he sneezed five days ago and Sookie is afraid he’ll get Davie sick. Bruce the midwife is still there and she yells at Lorelai for babytalking Davie.

Mrs. Kim gives Lane a jug to send to Dave. Lane gets panicky because her mother once told her that jug is the “marriage jug” that she’s going to give to Lane’s husband one day. She tells her she can’t send it, and Mrs. Kim tells her it’s just a jug and she lied to Lane about it when she was a kid so she would stop crying or something.

Lorelai goes to the diner and acts all awkward and weird when she sees Nicole there. Why the hell can’t the Gilmore Girls just act like regular people? Why are they so awkward? Lorelai pretty much runs away from the diner, but goes back later and asks Luke what’s going on. She says she thinks it’s weird that he and Nicole are dating. They have a fight and Lorelai storms off in a huff.

Janet, to Rory: Made anyone mad lately?

Paris: Oh, please. That would be like Dorothy pissing off the Tin Man.

Richard: Emily, I’m going to Google you.

Emily: You most certainly are not going to Google me!