Rory goes to Lane’s and they play video games for a minute to see what all the fuss is about. Rory tells Lane all about Jess and his proposal to take her away. The conversation turns to Dean, and Rory says she always knew she could count on him and she regrets screwing things up with him so badly.

Lorelai tells Rory she thinks she’s dating Luke and asks what Rory thinks about that. Rory says they should go inside the diner and see what happens. That’s what they do, and when Luke says hi to her, Lorelai falls into a table and knocks things over.

Lorelai, Sookie and Michel have invited all their friends to the Dragonfly for a trial run before the official opening. As part of a ploy to get her parents to either make up or admit they’re having problems, Lorelai invites them, too.

Rory sees Dean walking down the street. She smiles and waves at him, but he frowns and walks away. She runs into him later at the Dragonfly and asks him what his problem is. He says he was worried that Rory and Jess were back together. She asks him why that would bother him so much and he says it’s because Jess doesn’t treat her right. He leans in for a kiss, but right then Tom the contractor walks in and interrupts. DEAN, YOU ARE MARRIED. STEP AWAY FROM RORY.

Kirk comes to Luke and says he’s worried about spending the night with Lulu at the Dragonfly. He has night terrors and usually ends up running around naked and he doesn’t want Lulu to see him like that. He says he requested the room next to Luke’s so Luke can keep an eye on him.

Guests start arriving at the Dragonfly for the trial run. Kirk asks Michel to take all the bookends and light bulbs out of his room. Emily and Richard show up and Lorelai puts them in the private bungalow. Luke brings Lorelai flowers and she runs into a door. Then Jason shows up. She tells him she can’t talk to him now, but he says he’s not leaving until she agrees to hear him out. He sits in the lobby all night. Luke asks Babette who Jason is, and she says he was Lorelai’s boyfriend for the last six months.

Emily comes in and yells at Lorelai for putting her and Richard in the bungalow when she knows they’re fighting. Then Richard comes in to do some yelling as well. They see Jason in the lobby and decide it’s time to leave. Later, Luke introduces himself to Jason and asks him who he is. Jason says he and Lorelai are dating because I guess he’s in denial or something. Luke goes to Lorelai and says she had to have known what he was doing with the movie invites and stuff and now he finds out she has a boyfriend. She tells him Jason is not her boyfriend. He yells for a minute and then they kiss. FINALLY! Then Kirk comes running down the stairs screaming.

Rory goes home to get some CDs to bring back to the Dragonfly. Dean follows her and they start talking about how they almost kissed earlier. Dean tells Rory that things aren’t working with Lindsay and they’re not happy. He and Rory start making out and then Rory loses her virginity. Lorelai comes home to tell Rory what happened at the inn and she sees Rory and Dean come out of Rory’s room with their clothes all rumpled. Dean leaves and Rory acts like the whole thing is no big deal. Lorelai tries to get her to see that this isn’t good and she can’t be sleeping with a married man, but Rory doesn’t really get it until she goes outside to call Dean and Lindsay answers the phone.

Luke: I’m not a mysterious man, am I?

Lorelai sees Jess reading a magazine in the town square and averts her eyes. Then the camera swings around and we see he’s really reading one of Luke’s self help books.

Tana introduces Rory to her boyfriend, Chester. He lost a bet and can only speak in clichés for the whole day. Tana shows Rory a collage she made of all the pictures she’s taken this year. Everyone else in the collage is couples, so Rory feels insecure about the fact that she hasn’t had a boyfriend all year.

Lorelai goes to Mrs. Kim’s to get a door knocker for the inn, and Mrs. Kim gives her some mail to give to Lane. Lorelai says she thinks Mrs. Kim should talk to Lane herself and resigns as her mail carrier. Lane’s Aunt June comes to Lane’s apartment and says Mrs. Kim would like to visit. When Mrs. Kim comes for dinner, Zack and Brian are wearing ties and they try to serve her tea. Mrs. Kim didn’t know Lane was living with boys and it’s a little too much. She runs away and tells Lorelai there were boys at Lane’s house. Lorelai tells her to think of them as girls because they’re harmless.

At Friday night dinner, Lorelai interrogates Emily all night about where Richard is. Emily evades her questions and then she interrogates Rory to make sure she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Rory is packing up her room after her final the next day when Emily comes by to set her up with the son of one of her friends. The guy says a group is going out later to celebrate the end of the year and Rory is welcome to come along.

Lorelai meets Luke at the diner to go to the wedding. He tells her she looks beautiful. Liz’s friend, Crazy Carrie, flirts with Luke at the wedding until Lorelai makes her presence known. Carrie says Liz ripped her dress, so Lorelai goes to Miss Patty’s, where she’s getting ready, to help out. Liz tells Lorelai she’s going to make a great sister-in-law for someone one day. Before she leaves Miss Patty’s, Lorelai notices some self help books in Jess’ bag.

The wedding is really kind of cool, if strange. Everyone is wearing costumes and the second troubadour is the minister. TJ walks up the aisle talking about how much he likes wearing tights. Luke, Lorelai and Jess spend the whole time trying not to laugh. Lorelai tells Luke about the books in Jess’ bag and mocks him a little. Luke gets defensive and tells her Jess is trying to be a better person and she shouldn’t be so judgmental. They both apologize later and then dance together. Luke walks Lorelai home, and before she goes inside he says they should have dinner together next week.

Rory decides to go out with Emily’s friend’s son and she has a terrible time. It’s like eight guys all getting drunk, so she sits at a table by herself. The guys decide to leave, but the guy driving is totally smashed so Rory decides to stay at the bar and take a cab. Then she realizes she doesn’t have any cash so she calls her married ex-boyfriend to come pick her up. She and Dean end up having dinner together.

Jess is very calm and very polite in this episode. He waits around after the wedding until Luke comes home, and then tells him he appreciates everything Luke did for him. Then he leaves and goes to Yale to try to get Rory back. Dean is just walking Rory to her door when Jess show up. Dean gets snippy, but Rory tells him to go. Jess tells Rory he wants her to come to New York and be with him. He tells her she can count on him now. She tells him no, and he leaves, dejected.

Rory: Oh, no. Not Jesus. I’m sick of him and Mel Gibson.

Liz: I don’t want to screw up this marriage even more than I want some pot.

Lorelai can’t sleep because she can’t stop thinking about Dragonfly stuff. The opening is coming up and she’s really stressed. She goes to the diner before it’s even open. Luke lets her in and gives her some coffee and tells her everything will be fine. He comes by the inn later for a tour and they go to the kitchen, where Sookie introduces Lorelai to their new poultry supplier. It’s clear she’s trying to set them up, so Lorelai makes Luke pretend to be her fella. After the guy leaves, Luke and Lorelai have a chat about how much relationships suck. Later that day, Luke goes to the bookstore and gets some self help audio books on the subject. After listening to the tapes for a while, he realizes he’s in love with Lorelai.

Dean is working late at the Dragonfly to help get it ready for the opening, and Sookie and Lorelai overhear Lindsay and Dean arguing. She’s bored and annoyed that he’s always working.

Liz and TJ come to Stars Hollow and tell Luke they’re getting married. It’s going to be a renaissance wedding in the town square. Luke asks if Jess is coming and Liz says he can’t make it. Luke finds out where Jess is living in New York, and he goes to his apartment to tell him to come to the wedding. Jess says no, but then he shows up at the diner and says he’s not paying for a hotel room so he’s staying at Luke’s.

Paris calls Rory because Asher is in the hospital. It’s angina. Paris finally realizes Asher is old and she thinks maybe it’s time to break up with him. When she goes into his hospital room to tell him, they end up talking and making plans for Paris to accompany Asher to Oxford for the summer.

Lorelai and Michel go to Sookie’s for a Dragonfly meeting. Jackson is sleeping in the garden to keep the zucchini warm so it’s good for the soup Sookie is going to make on opening night. Everyone goes outside to sit with him, and they all fall asleep in the zucchini patch and don’t wake up until morning.

TJ’s bachelor party is at some ridiculous place where the girls mud wrestle. Jess goes, but ends up reading the whole time. TJ says Liz wants Jess to walk her down the aisle at the wedding, but Jess says he’s not interested. TJ gets mad and knocks the book out of his hand. It turns into a brawl and everyone gets kicked out.

Jess and Luke go back to the diner and Luke calmly says he’s done trying to change Jess. He tells him he should just go home if he hates him and Liz so much. Jess says he doesn’t hate anyone and he didn’t want to come to Stars Hollow because of Rory. He tells Luke he saw Rory at the Firelight Festival and told her he loved her. Luke starts spouting some self help stuff from his tapes, and somewhere during his recitation he decides it’s time to move forward with his life. The next day, Luke asks Lorelai to be his date to the wedding. Then he goes home and gives his self help books to Jess.

Doctor at the hospital: The procedures are the procedures.

Paris: Oh, really? I thought the procedures were a hat.

Asher holds a book signing for his new novel and Paris is annoyed about all the other girls who hover around him and try to flirt. Doyle shows up at the reading and mentions to Rory that Asher dates a new freshman every year. Rory wrote a paper for Asher’s class, but she doesn’t feel like it was very good. When she gets an A, she tells Asher she wants to earn her grades and not get good grades because of her friendship with Paris. Asher is offended and tells her that her paper was great and she shouldn’t question his grading tactics.

Lane sees some other Korean girl walk out of her old house with Mrs. Kim. She’s a little jealous that Mrs. Kim has a new daughter. Lane attacks the girl on the sidewalk one day and finds out she’s a foreign exchange student.

Jason goes to the country club to work on his golf game and none of the other businessmen will talk to him. He can’t get a hold of his father or Richard. He finally gets a call from Richard’s lawyer, who informs him that Richard has gone back to Floyd’s company and taken all the clients. Now Jason has no clients and no prospects and is totally ruined. Lorelai goes to Richard to yell at him for treating Jason so badly. Richard tells her there was nothing else he could do and he’s a little upset that Lorelai doesn’t care what happens to him or Emily, only what happens to Jason. Emily overhears, and she tells Richard she’s worried that if he goes after Jason like this, Lorelai will stop talking to them. Richard is unsympathetic.

Lorelai tells Rory she doesn’t plan to go to Friday night dinner because of all the mess going on, but Rory is selfish and says it’s really important to her because sometimes it’s the only time she gets to see her mom. When they get to the house early, Richard answers the door himself and is surprisingly friendly and a little scatterbrained. Emily comes in the front door and won’t tell the Girls where she was. Lorelai and Rory hide in the bushes after dinner and see Emily get in her car and drive away. Lorelai calls hotels in town until she finds the one where Emily is staying. She tells Jason all about it, and then Jason says he’s suing Richard because it’s the only thing he can do. Lorelai breaks up with him because she can’t be with someone who is suing her family.

Lane’s band has a gig and it goes great. Lane tells Zack she wants to celebrate, but he goes to the bar to flirt with some groupies (one of whom is named Shannon – ew). Lane feels sad and lonely, so she goes to her old house late that night and kisses Mrs. Kim on the forehead while she’s sleeping.

Lorelai, to the maid: I’m looking for my father. Big guy, bowtie.

Also in this episode: Luke signs his divorce papers and mails them off.

Stars Hollow smells and nobody knows why. Kirk tells Taylor (who has a horrible new toupee) that the smell is coming from eggs hidden in the town square for Easter, which was a week ago. He was supposed to have made a map pointing out the locations of all the eggs, but he didn’t and now there are fifty-nine rotting eggs somewhere in the square. Kirk goes insane trying to find the eggs and make Taylor happy, but there are still twelve left. He doesn’t sleep for days. Luke finds the eggs for him and gives them to Kirk so he can tell Taylor he was the one who found them.

Jason and Richard acquire another company and go golfing to seal the deal. Jason’s father, Floyd, shows up on the golf course. He tells Richard he’d like to have dinner on Friday night. This is some big deal and Emily starts making preparations. Since it’s going to be on Friday, Lorelai and Rory will be there, too.

Lorelai sends Dean to Rory’s dorm with a bookshelf that doesn’t fit in at the Dragonfly. Dean says he’s taking time off from school so he can make money because Lindsay wants a townhouse. Rory can’t help but tell him what a bad idea she thinks it is and they have a big fight. Rory goes to the market with Lane and starts talking about how selfish Lindsay is for not working and making Dean drop out of college. Then she turns a corner and Lindsay is in the next aisle. She heard everything.

Lorelai is nervous about meeting Jason’s parents even though they don’t know she and Jason are dating. Things seem pleasant enough at first, and Rory leaves early because she has a paper to study for. After dinner, the girls go to the living room for drinks while the men go to the study for cigars. Floyd tells Richard he’s suing his company because Jason signed a no-compete clause. The men start yelling at each other and they take the argument into the living room, and that’s where Floyd announces that his private investigator told him Jason and Lorelai are dating. He and Jason’s mother leave, and Jason and Richard go back into study. Jason says he’ll fix things with his father.

Rory is driving home from dinner when Dean runs in front of her car and says he wants to talk to her. He drags her into an alley and tells her he’s sorry about their fight. He says Lindsay doesn’t want him to talk to Rory anymore, but he doesn’t want that to happen.

Richard’s business can’t afford a legal battle with Floyd, so the two of them go golfing together to make a deal. They decide Richard will come back to Floyd’s firm and have his own company under Floyd’s company’s banner. Jason is out.

Michel: I am not standing funny. This is how you stand in these pants.

Jason, about Emily and Richard: They keep moving everything back and forth. The cart, the heater, me. I used to be over there.

Janet is going to Florida for spring break. She invites Paris and Rory, but they’re going to stay on campus and stage a protest, something about Burmese prisoners. They set up their table in the courtyard, but it’s freezing and nobody is signing their petition anyway because everyone is on spring break. When it starts raining, Paris and Rory run inside and get under their covers. They decide to go to Florida after all.

Luke is crabby. He tells Lorelai it’s because he’s not wearing his own socks. He spent the night at Nicole’s, and when he got up in the morning and got some socks out of the drawer, he realized the socks were someone else’s. He calls Lorelai one night and asks her to come pick him up because he’s in jail. He waited outside his and Nicole’s place until she rolled up in some guy’s car. After she and the guy went inside, Luke kicked the guy’s car over and over again until a cop showed up and hauled him away.

Jason gives Lorelai a key to his apartment and she makes sure the conversation is as awkward as possible because I guess she doesn’t understand the significance of the key. He later tells her that they’re at a point in their relationship where he usually breaks it off, but he doesn’t want to break up with her and in fact he wants to see more of her.

Paris throws a lot of money around in Florida and manages to get a tent on the beach with chairs and refreshments. Madeline and Louise (who, let’s face it, always belonged in Florida on a perpetual spring break) show up. They’ve been on spring break for a month and they’ve realized they can get all kinds of free stuff from guys if they make out with each other. They take Paris and Rory to a club, and Paris wants to know why everyone else is having more fun than they are. Paris wants to have a real spring break, so she kisses Rory and then asks how good a kisser she is.

The girls get drunk together later, and Madeline goes through Rory’s phone and calls Dean. So Rory leaves him a drunken message and then hangs up. Later that night, Paris and Rory sit on the beach and realize they’ve had about as much fun as they can stand. They decide to use some of Paris’ frequent flyer miles to go home early.

Some girl: Is it raining?

Paris: No, it’s National Baptism Day. Tie your tubes, idiot.

One of Emily’s friends passes away and Richard can’t go to the funeral because he has a business meeting. Then Gran dies and Richard falls apart. He can’t stop crying and he feels horrible that they fought the last time they saw each other.

Gran made arrangements for her funeral, but it was twenty years ago and now Emily is going crazy trying to find retired officiants and stuff. She’s appalled that one of Gran’s wishes is to have half her ashes put in an urn for Richard’s mantle. Lorelai helps Emily go through documents, and she finds out Gran and her husband were second cousins. Emily finds a carbon copy of a letter Gran wrote to Richard begging him not to marry Emily and to go back to Pennilyn Lott. Emily’s had enough. She gives up and says she’s done arranging the woman’s funeral, so Lorelai and Rory step in and save the day.

Lorelai and Sookie go to see Emily the next day and find her sitting in the living room in her robe with a drink and a cigarette. Jason comes by to get some papers signed and Richard cries and hugs him, which totally freaks out Jason. When Lorelai and Rory go to meet the grandparents for the funeral, Richard doesn’t know he’s not wearing shoes and Emily is still in her robe. Lorelai remembers she forgot to give the funeral home guys underwear for Gran to wear, so she goes to buy some and kind of freaks out a little at the saleslady.

Rory uses the computer at the newspaper to do some research for Gran’s obituary. Doyle yells at her for using newspaper resources for personal stuff, but then he tries to bond with her when she says it’s for her grandmother’s obituary. Doyle’s own grandmother passed away recently and he tries to talk to Rory about it. She feels bad and comes clean, saying Gran was her great-grandmother and she didn’t know her well at all. Doyle tells her to continue her research because everyone should know their grandmother.

Richard and Emily both get themselves together for the funeral and wake. Richard’s cousin Marilyn, who looks exactly like Gran, is at the wake telling stories about Gran. Richard tells Emily that he thinks the mantle isn’t the right place for Gran’s ashes. He thinks it will be okay if all her remains are buried with her husband.

Also in this episode: Luke and Nicole scream at each other upstairs while everyone sits downstairs in the diner and listens. I think they’re finished.

Emily: Find a box, throw her in, we’re done.

Sookie, about Emily: I think she broke.

Lane gets an apartment with Zack and Brian. It only has one bedroom, so the boys will sleep in bunk beds in the living room. She goes home to get her stuff and her aunt June is there with cousin Christine, who will be helping her pack. Christine is a mini Lane who talks too fast and is really excited about Lane moving out. When she’s all packed and ready to go, Lane says goodbye to Mrs. Kim, who looks like she’s about to cry.

Luke gives Lorelai a check for the loan she was going to ask for. She wants to talk about a repayment schedule and interest and stuff, but he just wants her to take the money.

Lorelai goes to Friday night dinner and Emily says she should update her wardrobe. She and Rory both play hooky and decide to go to the mall for some window shopping. It’s fun at first, but after a while they’re just depressed about the fact that they can’t afford anything. They run into Emily and tell her they’re window shopping. She thinks that’s stupid so she makes them go shopping with her.

Emily goes through a department store buying everything she sees, including a set of ridiculous glass apples. She makes Rory get a hat and Lorelai a watch. Lorelai finally stops her and asks her what’s wrong. Emily is annoyed with Richard. She’s still upset about Pennilyn Lott and Richard’s mustache and his going to clubs with Jason. She throws a fit and Lorelai and Rory take her to the food court. They of course buy a ton of food for Emily to try. I thought they were having money problems, but this must be like fifty dollars worth of food. Emily apologizes for acting crazy. She and Lorelai have a good conversation while Rory is getting napkins. Lorelai says Emily should just talk to Richard. That night at dinner, Emily asks Richard what he thinks of the glass apples. He says he’s always liked them.

Lindsay and her mother come to the inn and bring lunch for Dean. Luke goes to the arcade one night to get change, and Dean is there playing video games. He’s apparently there every night because Lindsay’s parents are always around and he feels like he’s in the way. While he’s talking to Luke, Dean gets distracted because he’s staring out the window at Rory.

Emily: Is that how you dressed?

Lorelai: Is this a trick question?

Rory: It’s the food court.

Emily: How long has this been here?

Lorelai and Rory are both busy and they keep missing each other. Lorelai spends the night at Jason’s and they both end up making business calls in the bedroom. Then Emily calls and Lorelai gets out of bed and puts on clothes because she doesn’t want to be half naked while talking to her mother. Emily says Gran is coming to town and Lorelai has to have lunch with them. She also insists Lorelai get her hair cut before lunch, so Lorelai goes crazy trying to get the salon to work her in.

Paris is annoyed that Janet’s boyfriend is getting too comfortable around the suite. Lane overhears them arguing and Janet makes fun of Paris for being a lonely spinster. She tells Paris she should just tell Janet about Asher. Paris, who thought Rory was the only one who knew about Asher, goes to Rory and says Lane needs to get the hell out. Rory asks Janet and Tana what they think, and they say it’s weird that Lane is staying there. Lane knows what’s coming and she says it’s time to move on. Rory leaves a message for Lorelai asking if Lane can stay with her. Lane goes to the diner and asks for her job back. Then she runs into her mom. She tells her she’s staying with Lorelai, but Mrs. Kim doesn’t seem to want to talk to her.

While Lorelai is in the middle of getting her hair shampooed, a delivery guy calls and says there’s nobody at the inn to sign for the sink. Sookie is supposed to be there, but she’s not answering her phone. Lorelai rushes over there with wet hair, but the sink guy is gone. Then she goes to Sookie’s and yells at her. Sookie doesn’t really seem to grasp the severity of the situation and they have a fight.

Dean calls Rory and says he’s been offered a job with the contractor on the Dragonfly and he wants to know if that’s going to be awkward for her. She says it’s fine with her. Tom the contractor comes to Lorelai and Sookie and asks if the checks are getting lost in the mail. Lorelai has apparently not been paying him. They’re having money issues and Lorelai asks Luke to dinner so she can ask him for a loan.

Of course Gran notices that Lorelai hasn’t had her hair cut. Richard introduces Jason to Gran and she makes him feel awkward when he gives her a present. Gran makes Lorelai admit that she’s in financial trouble. She yells at Emily and Richard for not helping their daughter. Richard starts yelling at his mother and Emily looks smug.

Rory talks to a professor about a paper she wrote. He tells her it seems like she’s overloaded her schedule and should maybe drop a class or two. He’s very nice about it and tries to tell her it’s not a big deal, but she of course takes it badly. She goes to the Dragonfly to find Lorelai, but Lorelai isn’t there so she ends up talking to Dean and crying on his shoulder about how she needs to talk to her mommy.

While that’s going on, Lorelai goes to Luke and says she needs to postpone their dinner because she’s just so stressed out. She ends up crying to him about all her troubles.

Lane: I’m staying at Lorelai’s.

Mrs. Kim: Wear socks.

Gran: Shall we all take turns guessing how long it will be before lunch is served?

Other notes:

• Richard is growing a mustache and Emily hates it.
• The Dragonfly gets its first reservation.
• This episode is like two days long, but that’s all the time it takes for the Gilmore Girls to have withdrawals from each other.

Jess holds up traffic when he pushes his car to Gypsy’s. Rory goes to Weston’s for some coffee and Jess is there. He runs out when Rory walks in. She sees him later in the bookstore and he runs out the door again.

Emily is losing her mind because she hasn’t found enough people to fill her table at some charity function. Lorelai already said she’d go, and now Emily is saying she has to bring someone. Lorelai brings Rory, which isn’t what Emily wanted. She makes Lorelai sit next to Jason and pretend to be his date. Jason’s father comes by the table to say hello, and Richard thinks the man is planning something.

Lorelai runs into Liz and they have a talk about how awesome Luke is. Luke comes back to the diner and finds Liz and her boyfriend, TJ, cooking dinner in the apartment. Luke doesn’t want to hang out with him, but Liz drags him to the table to sit down. Jess walks in because he forgot something, and Liz makes him stick around for a minute, too. Jess leaves and Luke steps into the hallway to talk about what they’re going to do about TJ. Jess says he doesn’t care and Luke tries to convince him he should. Jess tells him to stop trying to fix everyone’s problems all the time.

Lorelai has broken a window in the living room and the whole house is freezing. She puts up some plastic wrap with Barbie Band-Aids. Luke, upset about what Jess said, gets drunk and comes over to fix it. Lorelai isn’t home and the door is locked, so he climbs a tree and comes in through her bedroom window. Luke cuts his hand and Lorelai comes home in time to put a Barbie Band-Aid on his hand. He tells her what Jess said, so Lorelai finds Jess at Gypsy’s and starts yelling at him for being mean to Luke.

Stars Hollow is having their Founders Firelight Festival. Luke goes and overhears TJ talking about how great Liz’s earrings are and how much people love them. Luke goes to TJ and tells him he approves of him. TJ says Luke is a dick. Liz gives Luke some earrings to give to his wife – or Lorelai. Luke gives the earrings to Lorelai.

Rory and Jess see each other and Rory says it’s her turn to run away. Jess chases her around town for a minute. She finally stops and says she wants to know what he has to say to her. He says he loves her and then gets in his car and drives away.

Emily: It’s a complete disaster!

Lorelai: My existence?

Luke: Got a handful of Barbie.