Luke has new menus. Nicole said there wasn’t very much for her to eat, so he added some salads and got rid of some sandwiches nobody ever ordered. Lorelai, Rory and Lane give him trouble about it.

There’s a speech writing contest at Chilton and the winner will get to read his or her speech on C-SPAN. Rory doesn’t really feel like entering, but after Paris baits her a little, she decides she wants to crush her. Nerdy Brad is back. He’s been in a Broadway production of “Into the Woods” and now he’s returned with even more self-confidence than before. Paris still manages to scare him. Headmaster Charleston can’t decide if he likes Paris’ or Rory’s speech better, so he tells them it’s a tie and makes them merge their speeches together.

Sookie is making terrible food at the inn and getting complaints from guests. She thinks everyone is just crazy, but Lorelai tastes the food and says it really is bad. Sookie and Lorelai realize she must be pregnant. When Sookie tells Jackson, he immediately gets out the calculator and starts freaking out about preparing for the baby.

Rory and Paris decide to work on their speech over the phone, but then Paris shows up at Rory’s house. They work on their speech for about two minutes, and then suddenly Paris says she and Jamie had sex. She apologizes for letting Francie mess things up and then asks what Rory thinks about the sex thing. Lorelai comes home and overhears the conversation. When she hears Rory say she’s never had sex, she gets a really sickening smile on her face and actually says to herself, “I’ve got the good kid.” Fuck off, Lorelai.

Lorelai runs into Max at a drugstore in Hartford. He’s been teaching in California, but he’s back now. He and Lorelai actually have a nice conversation. She sees him at Chilton later when she goes to watch Rory’s speech. She tries to apologize for the way she treated him before, but Max says he’s fine, he’s over it. Then they kiss later in the coatroom. That kind of came out of nowhere.

Paris is late getting to Chilton for the speech, and when she finally does show up, her hair is a mess and she seems to be wearing pajamas. She walks like a zombie up to the podium when it’s time to go on, and doesn’t say anything while Rory does both parts of the speech for a minute. Then she suddenly starts ranting about Chilton and how she thought it was going to be so good for her. She pulls a small envelope out of her pocket and says it’s her rejection from Harvard. She goes crazy, talking about how she had sex so now she’s not allowed to go to Harvard. Rory starts to pull her off the stage and Paris tells the audience that Rory’s a virgin so Harvard probably loves her. Rory gets Paris to a quiet place and lets her cry on her shoulder.

When Lorelai and Rory get home, they find acceptances from Harvard, Yale and Princeton.

Paris: Why’d you use this font?

Rory: Because I was on the crack.

Paris: Pack your chastity belt, Gilmore. You’re going to Harvard.

Other notes:

• The promos for this episode were the most ridiculous display of misdirection I’ve ever seen. They showed Lorelai listening outside Rory’s door when she and Paris were talking about sex. The voice over said, “A mother will be crushed,” and the dialog was edited to have Rory say, “It was just time.”
• The actor who played Brad, Adam Wylie, actually debuted on Broadway in a production of “Into the Woods” in May 2002.

• Original Air Date: February 25, 2003
• Where Kirk Works: Kirk is the new mailman, but he's decided to sort the mail as he goes. It results in disaster because nobody is getting their mail.

Categories: Season 3
Tags: Brad, College, Paris, Sookie-Jackson

Posted on February 18, 2010